A question of lust

Trying to act upon it as much as I can

The one that got away May 7, 2010

Filed under: Dating Game,So Hot — questionoflust @ 2:41 am
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I think everybody that has been dating for a long time, has had several relationships etc. has marked a certain somebody as ‘the one that got away’.

I have one of those….man he was great, and the silly thing was…we were doing great together.
Our break up was basically caused because he literally left one day.
For two years I didn’t hear anything until I received a 4 word e-mail a few days ago….“Hey how are you”

Total shock!!
Is he back, why is he emailing, why so little words, what does he want, where’s he been, why did he go….and these are just the questions that flew threw my head the first nano second.

I mailed back saying: “hey stranger….good to hear you didn’t die”
Long story short….we agreed to meet for a date that weekend.

It was amazing, we talked about the ‘old days’, he apologized for leaving and explained why he did what he did, we laughed, we drank….and than I wanted to go home.

It was too much, all the feelings started rushing back again, and I have no idea what to do with them.
I’m sort of comfortable in my ‘safe’ relationship with Steve…I have no commitment really…But the idea that things with Mr Right might be as they used to be is so overpowering.

I feel weak, I feel I can drop everything again in a heart beat for this guy.

I didn’t call the next day, didn’t email, I hadn’t even asked for his new telephone number (now that I think of it…why didn’t he ask for mine?!?!)

Anyway….he’s back….and I’m torn…


Easter! April 8, 2010

Filed under: One night stands,So Hot,Speaking in Tongues,The Affair — questionoflust @ 3:06 pm
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Had been having a bit of  a rough few days with Steve, so I decided I needed a change of scenery for the Easter days. Firstly because I needed to get out of this place, secondly because in my twisted female mind I wanted Steve to miss me more than he claims he does. (baaaaad I know)

I went to see my dear and lovely friend in Ankara. She is the hottest girl on the planet (to me) and besides being smoking hot she is real fun to go out with. So most of the ingredients for a great few days I’d say.

She picked me up from the airport and of course I vented about Steve all the way back to her apartment, when we got out of the car and I closed the car door I promised her I would not speak of him anymore during my stay….I had released what I wanted to release and felt much better.

We end up drinking Raki (a turkish spirit) that night and just sat there talking, with the necessary make-out breaks in between, and we come up with the idea that we should have an ‘easter’ party. We also decide that party should have nothing to do with finding hidden eggs or a 3-legged race.

The party is planned for the next evening, during the day we call everybody we want to be there, shop for groceries and try to make the apartment as party proof as possible.

It was an amazing night! Turkish people can be so judgmental about certain things, but when they get loose….they do get loose. There was music, dancing, drinking, stripping and chocolate love making. My feel is that there will be some American soldiers that have a great story to tell about ‘the time they were stationed in Ankara’.

While things were simmering down in the early hours of the morning I decided it was time to head to bed. What do I find naked on my bed? My sweet friend wearing nothing but a purple bow and a bottle of chocolate sauce on the night stand….

I had a great time, and I will not forget this trip to Ankara soon….I should come up with something good for when she’ll be visiting me this summer!


5 things that turn me on in a man March 15, 2010

Filed under: Just saying,So Hot — questionoflust @ 7:21 pm
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There is many thing I like in men, but not all of those trades or characteristics turn me on. I am not into looks much, but I would be telling lies if I said that first impressions aren’t 85% about looks.

Usually if guys tick most of these 5 boxes in my head, they have a real good shot of getting somewhere with me!

1 – Humor
A guy must be able to make me laugh! There is of course a fine line between humorous and a non stop stand-up routine, but men that are funny have a big big up in my book. I remember a night in a bar (a very long time ago) where 2 non descriptive guys were trying to get my friends’ and my attention. They were really doing a poor job and we asked them nicely if they could leave us alone. One of them asked me what I wanted to drink….I said “nothing, thank you“. A minute later the barman put an empty glass in front of me and said “It’s from the guy at the corner of the bar“….I ended up spending the whole night talking to him. We even had a few dates afterward.

2 – Smell
I think there are many many studies on this subject, but how a man smells (well a person really) is very important to me. Smelling nice doesn’t always mean a guy has to be dipped in aftershave, but I do appreciate somebody that smells good. I like heavy woody smells for men, it draws me in and it makes me want to take in as much as I can. However it can also be the smell of fresh washed clothes….you know when you smell the scent of fabric softener in a guys shirt or scarf.  So if a guy smells good and we end up in conversation, chances are I’m stuck to him like shit to a blanket.

3 – Deep voice
Oh…there is something about a deep dark voice that just makes me break out a sweat in a good way! A guy that has a dark toned voice can recite the phone book to me and it just automatically makes me want to sleep with him….provided he keeps spitting out words 🙂

4 – Music knowledge
A man that is into music. Not just ‘liking a few songs here and there’, but somebody who is either a fan of a band or a lover of a music genre. Somebody that can talk passionately about music other than “that is a great track“. Music is something I love and to run into somebody that can describe their day by speaking in song titles or types of music is a total turn on for me. For example “I had a great day outside today, the weather was Morcheeba-ish“….hook,line,sinker…take me…take me now!

5 – Taking care of yourself
A man that takes care of his appearance is very attractive to me. This does not automatically mean a full blown metro sexual (hate that word!), but a guy that knows what looks good on him and that sort of shows he thinks about what he puts on after he took a shower. A guy that knows that it’s time to get a hair cut or a shave without people having to point it out to him. I don’t mind any clothing style…if  jeans look good on you…please wear them all the time. But I can tell how long you’ve had them and if the type of  jeans you’re wearing have evolved or are still stuck in the 80ies.

In general I don’t care if a guy complies with whatever image of ‘hot’, you can be overweight, wearing binoculars or have Michael Bolton as your idol; if you have 3 or more trades of the above, we will have a great time!


Go for the kill, or play coy?

Filed under: One night stands,So Hot,Speaking in Tongues — questionoflust @ 4:45 pm
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go for the kill or not?I met a nice guy…
Usually I’m not into ‘town’ guys as they can’t keep their mouths shut. And if residing in this country has taught me something, it is that it is more important what people think you do, than what you actually do. Gossip flourishes here and sometimes that can work in your favor, but usually in my case it doesn’t.

Anyway this guy…he’s educated, speaks eloquently, has a great sense of humor and is not all over me like a cheap suit. Which of course means I am really interested in pursuing him!
Not sure what strategy to go with here though, should I just be my forward and straight self, or should I be the less aggressive me and let him make a clear move first?

Of course I have already pictured in my head how it would be…..and it would be amazing!
We’d go for a nice dinner and we’ll have stimulating and clever conversation. Afterward we’ll go for a drink or maybe some dancing (however he doesn’t strike me as a dancer) and at that point I’ll decide if he can come home or not. I haven’t figured that part out yet in my mind!

For now I think I’ll leave it be… maybe I should accidentally bump into him some more to get a better feel of the situation 😉